My older brother likes to put stuff in a piece of paper and put it in his mouth. I dont know why he does that. Its kinda wierd. I want to know why he does that. He said he likes how it feels. One day my abrother came home and fell asleep in my bed he put a bag of stuff on the floor and things under my bed. I wanted to know what it was because I started to eat it. That morning on my way to school my brother Pip brought me. I asked him questions on everything that I wanted to know but most of all I wanted to know what that stuff in the bag was. As he was walking away i asked him what it was and he just ignored me. Pip always smells like he's been dumped in a garbage can. I got home from school and he brought me to one of my friends houses. I was really bored because all there is to do is watch tv and they don't even have cable. I was so happy When Pip got here to pick me up. I wish I didn't even have to go there I'm eight years old I can watch my self. So today I'm going to counseling with Pip. He has to talk to this lady that talks back and helps him. And for some reason I have to go with him. At home it's really getting hard because Pip is fighting with dad all the time and I can't do anything to help him because once dad drinks his potion, he goes crazy like an animal. One time he hurt me and Pip was here to help me. I want a normal family.
This book seems pretty good and you did good on the details and I like about the older brother putting paper in his mouth I like it
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DeleteThanks Stew Stew
DeleteThis good sounds good. But go back and fix those mistakes.
ReplyDeleteI like how you refer drugs to potions and paper. Makes his dad crazy like an animal. It made me laugh it is funny from a 3 year olds perspective. It sounds like a good book.
ReplyDeleteHe's 8 sorry
DeleteGreat job mike, your post was very appealing. You made history in the language arts community and the writing world. Shakespeare doesn't even compare to you. Stay in writing you have a bright future!
ReplyDeleteOK...so I am sitting here wondering about the brother and trying to figure out why he likes to eat things, and then the part about the dad drinking the potion comes up! My thinking completely changed and I am trying to figure out if this has some type of magical/fantasy element? Is the dad some type of creature? Is Pip something different? I have all of these questions! You did an effective job of writing from an 8-year-old's point of view. I imagined him talking just like this.
ReplyDeleteNo his dad is crazy and when he drinks his potion pips brother mikey means beer
DeleteAnd the paper is drugs, they are all human just messed up people
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